From Chief Wiggum to Gene Hunt

Back in the day when British policemen wore helmets inspired by mammaries, there at least was - what you could call - uniform justice.

In spite of now donning different style caps, the police are probably even bigger mammaries than ever before.

I was talking to a colleague today and she told me about the occasion when she was stopped and checked in public by the police for evidence of terrorism. Apparently, on no grounds whatsoever, the police searched her, appropriated her bag and emptied it, found a diary and skimmed through it (in search of lines such as "Dear Diary, today I made a failed attempt at detonating a big load of semtex strapped around my waist").

In protestation, the respectable young woman asked why the police are searching her for evidence of terrorism. Without any trace of humour, charm or irony (foreign concepts to the modern bobby), they informed her that she was their young, blonde, female quotient.

As my young, blonde, female colleague, and I (and everyone else) know, there are demographics which are more likely to be terrorists than others. This is beyond argument.

However, the police-force is so worried about not upsetting particular communities, or rather upsetting all communities equally, that it wastes our money and their time searching someone who has zero probability of being a terrorist for articles relating to terrorism.

The issue of political correctness is a divisive one. To the annoyance of its apologists, I can contentiously reject it on many levels. Surely, though, their can be no debate when so-called political-correctness overrides basic common-sense (and you, dear tax-payer, pay for these common-sense bypasses from your own pocket).

Really, the British police have too much time to do nothing. Why else to they have reams of forms to fill out? Why else would the Kent police bother arresting 81 year old war veteran and school governor Mr. Gibson when he was driving home from mass, within the speed limit?

Apparently, the police were concerned that he had driven into the middle of the road (to avoid parked cars, as we all do) and signalled him to pull over. When Mr. Gibson stopped the car, the police instructed him to open his window. Probably unnerved - and already frail at 81 years of age - Mr. Gibson had trouble winding down his window. The police officers interpreted this behavior as "confrontational". As a result, these police officers, one third of Mr. Gibson's age hoisted him from his vehicle and arrested him. The long and short of it is, that Mr. Gibson ended up in court with a fine, though is offense was negligible to say the list.

(NB. The imbeciles from the Kent police force are PCs Steven Cole and Thomas McGregor).

The police should be doing real work, catching real criminals, our streets are awash with incivility and crime. However, all the time the government chain them to their office desks or inculcate a fear of "upsetting" groups of people, then they are going to occupy their time harassing elderly church goers or young, female diarists.

The police are mammaries, but it is the government who are the biggest pair of joke breasts since that episode of Blackadder where Bl'adder's puritanical aunt comes to visit.