I started a poke...

There is a psychological report - which may have since disappeared into the ether as I haven't retrieved it - that stated that all conversation must obey a rule: If something you say is not helpful, educational, polite or constructive, then do not say it.

It was either these four qualities or else a very similar quadruplet of factors that need to be satisfied in conversation.

When I heard this report on the radio I became nascently conscious of how I speak and how wastefully. When I realised how much of what I speak is neither polite nor constructive I felt ashamed. And by that epiphany I have made my linguistic conversion.

I have also become aware of how we painfully squander spoken language, our greatest asset. In spoken language we have something which sets us aloof from every other animal in the kingdom.

I remember once someone astutely observed that we now say How are you! and not How are you? It is a subtle detail, but a very telling one - we neglect enquiries into meaning in favour of something no more than raw percussion. How are you! You might as well shake a maraca.

So - in all seriousness I ask - what is the point of 'poking' me on Facebook? Instead of offering a meaningless 'poke' (har har), why not write something meaningful, something that may excite interest in me or give me a welcome iota of literary pleasure.

Think of all the megawatts of energy going into those servers just to provide generation with the power can poke, throw an American football at, or 'hug' me.

For God sake, say something meaningful. Do your bit stave off the existential crisis of modern existence.